Our secret
by xLilithJow
Summary: That was the first time that Grant Ward, the Specialist, felt vulnerable and it wasn't because of his wound. It was her. It was her and her words. It was because of her chocolate eyes that were begging him to give them an answer.


_Note_: This story was original written in Italian - since I am italian. I translated into English, but, please, be kind. English is not my main language, so forgive me if there are mistakes in this story. I hope you're going to like it anyway.

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><p>They say there are things that happens for a reason and some others that just happen.<p>

Whatever it's the case, you have to accept them, good or bad, for better or for worse.

And then, if you're happy or not about them, those things will keep happen, again and again, they will never stop.

Things happen, people come and people go.

There's something more poetic about this one.

We use to think that when two people meet and feel a connection between each other for the very first moment, then those people are meant to be because destiny chose them.

But just because it's written that they belong to each other that doesn't mean they are good for each other.

Sometimes, destiny is so messed up and out of control. When this comes, it starts to hurt. A lot.

And what do you do, then?

They say that when you're able to realize that things are getting too much complicated and painful, you let go on the person you love because, deep down, you know it's for the best.

Unfortunately, that's not as easy as it seems.

Love is not easy.

Ward knew that. Despite his feelings for Skye, he knew he wasn't good for her.

He was a mess, far away from ordinary. She didn't deserve someone like that. She deserved some normal guy who didn't belong to S.H.I.E.L.D or Hydra or to all that stuff she used to hate.

Not him.

He wasn't good and not just for her.

For everyone.

He realized that.

He realized he was the Death to the Love.

He killed the love and love killed him.

He was staring at his shaking hands and his consumed fingers who made a lot of heroic and selfish actions. He remembered everything he has done, but, over all, he remembered how it felt like when he touched her skin, her face and her neck.

And he remembered those fingers keeping a botton or a slice of paper and cutting his own skin and then covered up in red.

Even in that moment, he wasn't afraid. Well, he wasn't afraid about dying. He was just regretting the fact that he couldn't talk to her and explain his reasons or do whatever it took to be forgiven.

When it really happened, when he was able to speak to her, he didn't say anything he had into his mind. He couldn't: something was blocking him because a part of his mind was screaming that he was bad and bad people didn't deserve forgiveness.

And then... Then he escaped and tried to get his revenge over his brother.

Although his good intentions, his mind was always focusing on Skye, all the time. He couldn't think clearly and maybe because of that he didn't realized that a man he put down was not really down. And that man grabbed a gun and pulled the trigger.

It happened in a blink: a bullet hit Ward's chest.

He remembered it too.

He remembered he didn't feel any pain before falling on the ground and closing his eyes.

Then nothing, just the dark until he woke up in a room with white walls. He was stucked into a bed and tied up on it.

There wasn't any noise in there, just the sound of his heart's beats played by a machine.

He didn't even try to break free. He was weak and he couldn't walk nor run. It would have been useless.

He wasn't counting the minutes or the hours that were passing and he didn't know how much time he has spent in there until something broke his tedium.

It was not something, it was someone.

Not anyone, it was _her._

Ward saw Skye entering into the room and it was like seeing the sun again after an eclipse: he was amazed, surprised.

She hesitated at the doorstep and then she took just one step into, closing the door at her back.

He didn't say a word. It was like being in the vault again.

He was afraid she could leave because of his silence, but that didn't happen.

She talked. "You're under S.H.I.E.L.D's custody again". She was trying to be determined so hard. Ward cracked a smile. He found weird seeing her playing that part and he knew that under that useless cover there was the sarcastic hacker he has always liked.

"Yeah, I – I figured that out" he whispered, referring to his handcuffs.

Skye nodded. "We keep you in here until the doctors say so and then...".

"And then my vault is waiting for me".

She bit her lower lip. "Yeah" she said. "Maybe you should have been more careful about that guy".

"My bad. It won't happen the next time".

"There's no next time".

Her last sentence seemed like a scream as if she wanted to end up that conversation. That was exactly what she was trying to do since she turned around and pressed her hand on the doorknob.

Ward couldn't see anything, but she was about to cry.

"_I hate you_" she murmured.

He still wasn't feeling any pain, but those words hit him and hurt him like a knife. He felt a huge hole on his chest.

When the girl looked at him again, her eyes were wet and her expression was broken, so it was his.

"You know, I – I wished this happened for months" she continued. "I prayed for this, for you to die. I wanted to be the one to pull a bullet in your head and I even thought about your face during May's training. And then it really happened".

Skye got closer Ward's bed and her voice was getting louder every steps she took. He could barely listen to her: her words were heavy and violent.

"Some guy came to us and... And he told Coulson that they found you in a bloodbath and they took you to the hospital, but they didn't know if you could make it. No one did. So I told myself to be happy about it because you were not a problem anymore and you finally got what you deserved".

She stopped talking for a little while. She was so close to him in that moment and she could almost feel his breath on her skin.

"It wasn't like that" she said. "It was the opposite. I felt like – like the ground under my feet was missing, everything was falling apart. And I kept telling myself that it wasn't right, that feeling in that way about you was wrong, that you... You are wrong. But it didn't work. Despite everything I was trying to do, I didn't stop caring and holding my breath until someone told us you were fine".

Ward heard everything she was saying and he didn't want to interrupt her also because he didn't know what to reply with.

He didn't know why she was telling him those things. She could have kept those, give him her communication and then leave. But she stayed.

He waited the end of her speech. Then he talked too.

"I'm sorry" he just said.

Skye laughed, nervously.

"Don't – don't be sorry, Ward" she replied. "Just tell me how to stop it".

"Stop what?".

"This". She opened up her arms, exasperated. "The fact that I still want to talk to you and be around you even if you're a horrible person and I know everything that you have done. The fact that you almost died today and I – I felt like dying too".

That was the first time that Grant Ward, the Specialist, felt vulnerable and it wasn't because of his wound.

It was her.

It was her and her words.

It was because of her chocolate eyes that were begging him to give them an answer.

"I..." he mumbled. "I don't know".

Skye shook a little bit. "I can't do this" she whispered. "I can't keep breaking because of you".

"I really don't want you to break for me".

"Then what I'm supposed to do?".

Ward didn't know that too. He didn't know how to react to that or if it was just another act to take information from him.

Maybe he just didn't want to feel pain again, so he thought she was honest.

He liked to think she was being honest.

"You can stay" he said. It was the only thing that came into his mind, even if it was predictable and maybe too much ordinary. He found it essential because all he wanted was her to stay here with him.

The girl hesitated. A part of her was suggesting to just go away because that was wrong. And yet that part that usually screamed, it was quiet in that moment. It was easy to ignore.

So, she stayed.

She didn't say anything. She looked down on his handcuffs and then she set him free. He was seeing the whole thing and he smiled.

She sighed. Then she lied next to him, gently, trying not to hurt him more. She rested her head on his shoulder.

Ward could barely lift up his arms and try to hug her.

"Don't tell anyone" Skye said. He smiled again. "I won't" he murmured. "It will be our little secret".


End file.
